Saturday, February 12, 2011

Communication Skills, Part 2

Congratulations!  You have been working at improving your ability to listen, understand, and provide feedback before moving the conversation forward by expressing.  Now, let’s move on.

Even if we are very competent when it comes to expressing, listening, understanding and providing feedback, there is another aspect to communication that, although it is very important, is often ignored.  This is the frame of reference of the person with whom we are attempting to communicate.

This frame of reference is the filtering system each of us has when communicating with others.  Here are thirteen components that can, and do, affect the interpretation of what is being said:

1.       Age
2.      Attitude
3.      Background
4.      Beliefs
5.      Education
6.      Experience
7.      Interests
8.     Knowledge
9.      Memories
10.  Occupation
11.   Prejudices
12.  Values
13.  Gender

All of these components affect and can interfere with how we interpret what we are hearing.  So, take some time to address these components for yourself – become aware of how each of these affect you when you are attempting to communicate (listen, understand, and provide feedback) with someone.  Once you have acquired this significant self-awareness, be sure to always keep it in mind when listening.  And, be sensitive to these components in others when you are sharing your thoughts, ideas, and opinions with others (expressing).  It will make you a much better communicator.   

Copyright 2011 Lynn Borenius Brown


OnlineandTelephoneCounseling.com

6 comments:

  1. Good advice indeed. It's a tough one to remember and a good reminder. This is all about self awareness.

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  2. Marty - I agree. It is reminding ourselves that both we and others have a filtering system which influences what we hear.

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  3. Wow--when you see all these components listed out, it is no wonder there are miscommunications. Seems like not only does it require self awareness, but also a willingness to really look into where the communicator is coming from. That is a lot to focus on. No wonder communications go haywire so many times.

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  4. Oakleaf - thank you for this comment. The idea of self-awareness is critical. This self-knowledge can make a big difference. Therefore, I suggest that each of us take the time to give serious consideration to becoming aware of how they influence our communication and then take responsibility for this information.

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  5. Oh yeah, there is always that personal responsibility thing. Now when I review my communications, I'll think first of how I might have done a better job. Many times when communication has not turned out how I had planned, I focus on what the other person said, did, and how they did not repond as I had hoped.

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  6. I believe it is best to address both. However, the only control/power we truly have is over who we are and what we think, do, and say. So, attending to our part of the communication is the most significant aspect. Then, we can give thought to how the other person's frame of reference components may have interfered with their ability to understand what we said.

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