Self-Awareness

You have three selves:  public, actual, and ideal.  All of these interact to help you make decisions, with any one of the selves taking priority during different situations.  Problems arise when the discrepancy between any of the selves is too great.  It is difficult to know “who” you are if the selves aren’t at least somewhat compatible.  So, to get to know yourself better you will be describing each self (public, actual, and ideal), determining how they are different from each other and the stress that causes and then deciding how you can go about bringing these selves together.  By doing this, you will understand why you have, at times, had inner conflicts regarding decisions, perceptions, and behaviors.  And with this knowledge, you can begin working toward being one self that is at peace with him/herself. 


Complete the following SELF-AWARENESS exercise.

My Selves

List 10 to 12 words or phrases that describe your public self (the “you” others see).

List 10 to 12 words or phrases that describe your actual self (your personal opinion).

In what ways do your public and actual selves differ?

In what ways does this cause you stress?


List 10 to 12 words or phrases that describe your ideal self (who you would like to be).

In what ways do your actual and ideal selves differ?

In what ways does this cause you stress?
 
After answering these questions, take some time to think about how you could go about bringing these selves together and write down your answer.



Now, how will you go about bringing your selves together?  (Changing some of your self-imposed demands, unrealistic expectations, irrational beliefs, becoming more assertive, etc.)



Copyright 2011 Lynn Borenius Brown


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