Life is Just One Thing after Another - How You Choose to React is Up to You

Life renews every half-second, so we have seemingly countless opportunities to start again – to decide how we want our future to look.  Because life keeps moving forward, it ends up actually being just one thing after another.  But, this is good.

By acknowledging and taking advantage of the fact that life is constantly renewing, we then realize that our responses, our reactions, to each moment matter because they create the next reality.

Therefore, be sure to proactively choose how you will respond to each life moment so you will have had as much input as possible into what your future will be.  While we cannot control external events, we do have a say in how we shape what occurs.

Copyright 2012  Lynn Borenius Brown

http://OnlineandTelephoneCounseling.com

What We Imagine About Ourselves Tends to Become Real

There is no one reality.  Each of us is responsible for determining what ours is going to be and we base this upon what we were taught in childhood, combined with what we have learned on our own, from others, as well as our experiences.  And it is influenced by our inherent personality.

When we imagine, we are assuming, supposing, believing.  Therefore, imagining has great power.  What we imagine shapes what we believe about ourselves and leads to it being real.  And when something is real, it is true – not just apparent, but it exists as a fact so it is actual rather than imaginary.

Therefore, it is imperative that we are aware of the significance of what we imagine because it will tend to become real. 

Copyright 2012 Lynn Borenius Brown

http://OnlineandTelephoneCounseling.com 

Understanding Only Comes from Doing

To understand is to be thoroughly familiar with, to comprehend clearly the subtleties of, and grasp the significance, implications, or importance of something.  Using this definition, it becomes difficult to acknowledge that we truly understand much.

To do is to accomplish - and to accomplish is to carry out, bring to conclusion, to perfect.

Therefore, it is in the accomplishment, the ability to bring to conclusion, that allows us the opportunity to actually understand.  The adage that we need to walk a mile in someone’s shoes before we know applies.  The intellectual awareness combined with the “knowing” that comes from doing brings understanding.  And once we understand, we change.

Copyright 2011 Lynn Borenius Brown

OnlineandTelephoneCounseling.com

Wisdom is Understanding that Judgment is Not Possible, Nor Necessary

Wisdom is knowledge of what is true, coupled with insight.  Judgment is a verdict or conclusion.  Whenever we participate in assessing someone else or a situation, we are, by default, never going to fully know every facet of this person or the situation and so we are going to be functioning without full information. 

As a result, we are not in the position to come to an accurate conclusion.  Therefore, judgment is not possible.  And once there is a verdict, there is no more discussion; no opportunity for acquiring additional insight and no possibility for forward movement or growth.  Therefore, everything about the person or situation is permanent.

Since everything is always in flux, is always being provided the opportunity for change, judgment, with its immediate outcome of permanence, is not a reasonable aspect of living.  So, when someone is wise, they know that change and growth are inherent in living.  Therefore, judgment is not possible and it certainly is not necessary.   

Copyright 2011  Lynn Borenius Brown

OnlineandTelephoneCounseling.com

We Cause Most of Our Own Problems

Life evolves – reality is new every half-second – one event occurs after another.  This relentless pattern never stops.  The only influence we have is our attitude that results in action.

The existence of problems is due to many factors that all converge to the concept of expectation.  It is our perceived need to influence others and outcomes that give us problems (doubts, uncertainties, difficulties).  We continue to strive to have life look the way we desire, having come to these conclusions restricted by our history and perceptions.

So, to limit the number of problems in your life, focus within yourself – use your energy to attend to your attitudes and actions.  Be true to yourself, always work toward being the best version of yourself, and let everyone else do the same.

Copyright 2011  Lynn Borenius Brown

OnlineandTelephoneCounseling.com

Action Turns Knowledge Into Wisdom

When we know something intellectually, we have an idea of what it is.  We are able to speak of it in theory and we believe we know of what we speak.  However, we do not completely understand it because we have not experienced it. 

Of course, there is always some of what we know that cannot be experienced so we must remain limited in our perception.  But, if we are able to experience our knowledge it is a good choice to do this because it is only by actually living the knowledge that we are able to fully comprehend what it means because the sensing and understanding experiencing brings allows for wisdom

So, be sure to choose to experience knowledge whenever possible.  It will bring the wisdom you desire.

Copyright 2011  Lynn Borenius Brown

OnlineandTelephoneCounseling.com

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Schedule your telephone or Skype counseling with Dr. Lynn Brown to start during October and receive a 15% discount on the first one-hour session.

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Unexpressed Emotion is Stored As Tension

As we go through each day, we experience emotions; some we welcome and others we don’t.  These feelings arise from our interpretation of external events as well as our thoughts.  And we have all been taught to forego, to suppress, the expression of at least some of our emotions in order to conform to society and a perceived need to keep order. 

The problem arises when we do not express our emotions for fear of causing disruption.  As a result, we store the emotions and, unfortunately, after a time, they erupt, usually inappropriately, because the tension built to the breaking point.  So, it is more efficient and healthier to find ways to express emotions appropriately, remembering that it is not the emotion that is wrong; that the only issue is expressing it inappropriately.

So, take time to practice becoming comfortable expressing your emotions, doing so openly and with respect for yourself as well as others.  To have feelings is human.  To express them allows compassion, bonding, and sharing; experiences that add so much to living.  

Copyright 2011  Lynn Borenius Brown


OnlineandTelephoneCounseling.com

Difficulties are Disguised Opportunities

We truly desire that each day will go as we planned and assume that our ideas about this are correct so they are all we need.  However, as we all know, this doesn't happen.  Before we know it, our well-laid plans go awry.  And usually we view the detours as difficulties.

It is important to remember that you are viewing your life from a limited perspective – from a vantage point that automatically excludes anything outside your realm of reality.  This means you are aware of only a fraction of what is possible and only some of what is necessary.  Therefore, what is viewed as a difficulty is usually just an opportunity in disguise.  It is the detours that promote an expanded view of life and growth.

So, when your day takes a detour, remember to view it with curiosity and move toward it with a sense of adventure and possibility.  You will discover there is more to living than you have imagined.

Copyright 2011  Lynn Borenius Brown


OnlineandTelephoneCounseling.com

No Two People Experience the Same Reality

Constantly, events are occurring in our environment and we notice some of them.  We respond, even if only internally.  And we assume that everyone else noticed what did and saw what we saw. But, this is not so.

Whenever something happens in our environment, our filtering system determines what we ultimately experience.  Our filtering system is our genetics, experiences, values, norms, current emotional state, current physical state, etc.  There are many factors that come into play that decide what we experience whenever something occurs in our environment.

Therefore, it is important to be aware that just because another person was in the same place as you when something happened, their experience of it may, and probably will be, different from yours.  By knowing this, you are able to become an inquisitive person who is nonjudgmental because you know that their perceived reality is not yours.   

Copyright 2011  Lynn Borenius Brown


OnlineandTelephoneCounseling.com

Now is All There Is

Planning, reminiscing, worrying, longing………  There are so many words we use to describe how we are living at any given moment.  Unfortunately, so often these words refer either to the past or the future.  And while it is important to heal from our past and to plan for the future, it is also vital that we spend time in the present.

It is “now” that offers living fully; spending time experiencing what is happening.  Sometimes “now” is painful.  But by allowing yourself to actually feel it, you are able to attend to it and heal.  There are times that “now” is exciting and since this doesn’t happen often, it is wonderful to fully feel it.  And, usually “now” is benign and it is also important to enjoy the ease of this and remember to be grateful.

Most of us live our lives having never been there.  Be sure that you are not one of them.  Be fully present in the “now” because the past is gone and the future depends upon the “now”.  And it is the ”now” that provides peace, joy, and the opportunity to heal. 

Copyright 2011  Lynn Borenius Brown


OnlineandTelephoneCounseling.com

One Benefit to Self-Acceptance is the Freedom to Make Faulty Choices

What is self-acceptance?  It is satisfaction with self; a realistic awareness of one's strengths and weaknesses that results in a feeling of inherent worth.  Self-acceptance allows for the freedom to heal, learn, and grow.  Without realizing inherent worth, one feels unworthy of the gift of achieving in life.

When self-acceptance reigns, there is peace of mind, a calmness that comes from non-judgment that offers opportunities to risk.  The freedom to experiment, to learn, to grow, provides time for successes as well as failures that are acceptable because they are not deemed to represent self-worth.

So, self-acceptance allows you to try what is new, unfamiliar – to take the risks that make life worth living.

Copyright 2011  Lynn Borenius Brown


OnlineandTelephoneCounseling.com

Thinking is Always Based in the Past or the Future

We spend our days thinking.  But rarely do we realize that this activity always relates either to the past or the future, even if it is the immediate past or the immediate future.  To ponder this idea feels strange to most of us.  However, it is accurate.  And, all stress comes from thinking because this action makes us aware of the discrepancy between what we expect and what is. 

The reason for contemplating the concept that we spend most of our time in the past and the future is that by doing so we can become aware that we almost never spend time in the present.  And, it is the present that is important; it is what we claim to value to get the most from living.  We want to enjoy our life but if we are never present, how is this accomplished?

The answer is mindfulness; the intentional choice to be aware of the present moment without judgment or evaluation.  

Copyright 2011 Lynn Borenius Brown


OnlineandTelephjoneCounseling.com

Each Problem or Change Is An Opportunity to Learn

We are continually faced with changes that we often view as problems; sometimes because they actually are issues that have arisen.  But often we define changes as problems just because they are changes and we don’t like change.

When faced with either an actual problem or just a change, usually our first response is to ignore it, hoping it will disappear.  However, it is important to accept that these situations are commonplace, are to be expected.  Therefore, we should accept them as a routine part of our lives.  By doing so, we are able to see the problem or change as an opportunity to expand our world; to view life from a slightly different angle, to alter our perceptions – in general, to learn. 

So, use each change or problem as an expected experience that you use to your best advantage by acknowledging it and using it as an opportunity to learn.

Copyright 2011  Lynn Borenius Brown


OnlineandTelephoneCounseling.com

Mindful Choices Are Always Simple

When living as your True Self, you become Mindful.  Mindfulness is the state of being aware, acknowledging, and accepting of what the True Self is experiencing.  It is allowing what needs to be heard and lived from without ignoring what you may not what to hear and acknowledge.  It is the staying in the moment despite how it makes you feel.  Mindfulness is living the True Self.

When making choices, it is incredibly easy and tempting to look outward for answers.  And while I am an advocate of utilizing all available, appropriate resources, ultimately we each must listen to ourselves.  However, even then we must be aware that we may be hearing our ego, which tends to be loud and invasive due to overuse.

So, keep your life, and your decision-making, simple by listening for, acknowledging, and trusting that wise, unaffected mindful choice that is clear, simple, and always available.   

Copyright 2011  Lynn Borenius Brown  


OnlineandTelephoneCounseling.com

When Choices Reflect Your True Self, They Flow From You

Although we rarely think of it, we spend our lives making choices.  Each moment of every day we are choosing.  The question becomes, how do we know what choices are best?  The answer is that all our choices are a reflection of whom we are – our norms and values.

Our True Self, the person we know we are when we are uninfluenced by others or our ego, knows the answers to questions because this self is the one we hear when we listen without distraction.  It is the self that responds from what we call the “gut” instinct.  It is the deeply human part of us that knows what is right and wrong,  good and evil; that is unaffected by the current social mores or any other external forces.

So, when presented with a dilemma, question, or situation, all you need to do is go within yourself, becoming deaf to distractions, and listen to what your inner self, your True Self, is telling you.  By doing this, your choice will freely flow from you.

Copyright 2011  Lynn Borenius Brown


OnlineandTelephoneCounseling.com

Change Is Inherent in Life

Each morning, most of us start out with a plan for how we want, expect, our day to evolve.  However, fairly quickly we discover that our idea of how life should be is not as it turns out to be.  And then, we feel powerless.


It is important to remember that everything in life is always evolving, shifting, moving.  We expect what we like to remain and what we don't like to stop.  However, neither of these is true.  Change is what allows the future to exist.


So, keep in mind that because we are always in flux we should look for the changes, seek them out, and embrace them as opportunities.  Change is life, life is change.


Copyright 2011 Lynn Borenius Brown


OnlineandTelphoneCounseling.com

The Mind Cannot Tell The Difference Between a Strongly-Held Belief and Reality

As we go through our day, we usually don't think too much about what reality is.  We just move from one experience to the other assuming we are viewing and dealing with the world as others do.

However, it is important to remember that our beliefs about life greatly influence how we see and respond to what happens in our world.  Our strongly-held beliefs make our reality what it is to each of us.  There is no one true reality, only what each of us creates by what we have decided is accurate, true, and what our beliefs cause us to see.

So, as you go through your day, be sure to identify for yourself what your strongly-held beliefs are so you can decide if you want to keep them or change them to alter your reality. 

Copyright 2011 Lynn Borenius Brown


OnlineandTeleophoneCounseling.com

Life Is a Process - An Outcome is Merely Another Beginning

It seems there is always something more to do - that the "to do" list is endless.  We can't ever run out of stuff to do.  And usually this is viewed as a negative because we wish that at some point we would be finished.  But, actually it is wonderful that we never get done - that we always have more on our list - because the next thing to do gives us an opportunity to start again; to have another chance at getting it right or doing it better.
When viewed as a process, life feels less like a test and more like so many opportunties to try again to risk, to learn, and to grow.  Our life experiences are not isolated, they flow one to another, allowing for wisdom, for rejuvenation, and for another beginning.

So, remember that you are never finished and that this is a good thing:  than an outcome, a perceived end, is only the start of something that is either a continuation or a chance to learn and improve.  What a relief to know that an outcome is merely another beginning so we are okay.

Copyright 2011 Lynn Borenius Brown


OnlineandTelephoneCounseling.com

Every Thought Takes You Down a Path Toward Somewhere

Because our minds are always working, we have thousands of thoughts each day.  And while we don't usually think about it, our thoughts are powerful.  This power comes from the fact that each thought is a step that gets laid down in front of us that makes a path taking us somewhere.

Although we live in a world that stimulates us, our reality comes from our thoughts that are the result of our values and norms and from the interpretation of the external stimuli.  We deal with the world based upon our thoughts and, therefore, are limited in our reality.

So, become aware of your thoughts, whether they are the result of habit or you are responding to something outside yourslef.  There is no downtime in your life - each one has an impact upon your life.  Even the most fleeting of these thoughts matters because it leads you toward your future.

Copyright 2011  Lynn Borenius Brown


OnlineandTelephoneCounseling.com